Dear Annie: I am writing in regards to your response to, “At Wit’s End.” She had said that her husband “actually looks worse than a homeless person,” and you failed to call her out on it.
This statement is insensitive and full of assumptions. As a teacher, I have respect and compassion for those who are currently without housing. I see their struggles and admire the dedication of these families in getting their kids to school while trying to piece their lives back together. The kids themselves are often creative, resourceful, charming -- and clean.
It is not fair to kick them when they are down. -- Concerned Teacher
Dear Concerned Teacher: You are absolutely right, and I very much appreciate your letter. Many families are doing their best under very difficult circumstances, and they need our help, not disparagement. Thank you for pointing this out.
Dear Annie: I am compelled to respond to “Depressed, Heartbroken and Missing Him,” as I saw myself in her letter and could easily have written it a few years ago. I thought your advice was spot on. However, while it is not easy, I would have added that she should RUN to the nearest exit and never look back.
I was a young professional woman involved with a professional guy. We were both active duty Air Force stationed overseas. From all outward appearances, we were the couple of the year. Everyone who knew us assumed we would be married and live happily ever after. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. After three years of enduring emotional abuse, including two proposals accompanied by withdrawals the next day, I finally woke up. On the third proposal, I told him to hit the road. That was the smartest thing I could ever have done. I wanted more out of life and he was not the one willing to share. After a time of not trusting any men, I finally met the man of my dreams. Today, I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful sons.
“Depressed,” do not despair. Get out and get out now. Do not hesitate. It is easy to say and a lot harder to do, but believe me, you can do this. This is not living and it is certainly not love. You deserve so much more. When all is said and done, you will be happier and stronger. Life changed for me. I am confident it will change for you, too. -- Been There, Done That
Dear Been There, Done That: Thank you for sharing your story in this letter. I am hopeful that “Depressed, Heartbroken and Missing Him” will read your words and know that she is not alone and that, with courage, she can have a better life.
Dear Annie: I loved reading your column about handkerchiefs, and I have another story to add to let your readers know that handkerchiefs are not only for men. My mom, who passed away a number of years ago, always had a handkerchief in her purse or up her sleeve. Lately, I’ve taken up the same ritual. I was sad thinking about how I never saved those beautiful handkerchiefs she used and have been buying lacy, colorful and embroidered ones of my own. A few months ago, I was visiting an elderly cousin and she told me she had something for me. It was one of my mom’s handkerchiefs. I put it in a frame and hung on the wall. It’s a beautiful memory of my mom and a wonderful keepsake. -- Bonnie L.
Dear Bonnie: Thank you for sharing this heartfelt family tradition.
“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book -- featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to email@example.com.
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